Travel & Outdoors
April 29, 2024
Cut the Crape Myrtle! Texas Deserves a Better State Shrub
Crape myrtles are nonnative and often hideously pruned. How about the azalea?
Humor
Critters
April 1, 2024
Teacup Javelinas Are Texas’s Adorable (and Feisty) New Pet Trend
Move over, teacup pigs—there’s a new teensy squealer on the market.
Travel & Outdoors
August 24, 2023
The Texan’s Guide to Italy
After badly behaved tourists made headlines in Italy this summer, one Texpat offers a few pointers on local etiquette.
Being Texan
July 19, 2023
What Does “Hodwy” Mean to Buc-ee’s?
Is the misspelling on the billboard promoting the Temple store a typo, a stunt intended to go viral, or a secret third thing?
Politics & Policy
July 17, 2023
The Texas Billionaire’s Guide to Befriending Clarence Thomas
Harlan Crow and Jerry Jones have bought access to the Supreme Court justice through carefully curated gifts. What do Michael Dell, Tilman Fertitta, Elon Musk, and others have to offer?
Politics & Policy
April 25, 2023
Dan Patrick Tries Out a Trumpy Nickname for Texas Speaker Dade Phelan
Amid a debate over competing property tax–relief plans, the lieutenant governor isn’t holding back. But is “California Dade” a good insult?
Critters
April 3, 2023
All the Ways Ben the Bear Is Plotting to Bust Out of the Brownsville Zoo
A serial escape artist, he’s coming to Texas after the Saint Louis Zoo couldn’t handle his wily ways.
Being Texan
February 14, 2023
San Antonio Seems to Be Going Through It This Valentine’s Day
. . . Y’all okay?
Film & TV
January 20, 2023
How Well Texas Cities Would Survive a Zombie Apocalypse, Ranked
The HBO series ‘The Last of Us’ spent its first act showing us how Austin would handle people-eating monsters. Houston, on the other hand . . .
Being Texan
December 20, 2022
15 Items to Add to Your Winter Emergency Kit
May we suggest tickets to Cancun?
Bum Steers
December 12, 2022
2023 Bum Steer of the Year Runner-up: Gilberto Hinojosa
Texas Monthly recently acquired the (fake!) résumé of one Gilberto Hinojosa, the seemingly indefatigable chair of the long-suffering Texas Democratic party. We print it here in full.
Bum Steers
December 12, 2022
2023 Bum Steer of the Year Runner-up: Louie Gohmert
An open letter to Louie Gohmert, the Bum Steer Hall of Fame’s newest inductee!
Bum Steers
December 12, 2022
2023 Bum Steer of the Year Runner-up: Herschel Walker
(Fake!) excerpts from the campaign diary of a displaced Texan, summer–fall 2022.
Politics & Policy
November 11, 2022
Texas Democrats: It’s Time for a Celebrity Candidate!
It’s worked for the GOP elsewhere, and nothing else has worked for Democrats here.
Being Texan
October 8, 2022
This 1981 Photo Essay Captured Why Being an Aggie Is Not at All Funny
Will Van Overbeek's images, with words by Oscar-winning screenwriter and Texas A&M alum and proud Aggie Al Reinert, were "good bull."
Tacos
October 8, 2022
What Your Favorite Mexican Ice Cream Says About You
From mamey to nuez, the varied flavors found at Mexican ice cream shops around the state make for a pretty accurate personality test.
Tacos
October 6, 2022
The Great Hard-shell Taco Debate
Two Texas Monthly writers go head-to-head on the merits and inferiorities of tacos made with crispy shells vs. soft tortillas.
Travel & Outdoors
February 1, 2022
What Lies Beneath the San Antonio River? A Whole Lot of Weird Stuff
Cleaning crews dredged up creepy dolls, armored catfish, rental scooters, and a staggering quantity of chairs.
Sports
January 14, 2022
Very Well, I Shall Coach the Houston Texans
The most dysfunctional franchise in pro sports has a vacancy, and I have some time to kill.
Being Texan
December 16, 2021
‘The Twelve Days of Christmas,’ Texas Edition
Twelve tamales steaming, eleven Longhorns losing . . . and thirty to fifty feral hogs.
Politics & Policy
December 14, 2021
The 2022 Bum Steer Awards
A year ago, in this very space, we referred to 2020 as “perhaps the craziest, stupidest, Bum Steeriest year in Texas Monthly’s history.” The unspoken assumption—or perhaps it was a desperate wish—was that 2021 would prove to be at least marginally saner than that misbegotten election year. And how
Politics & Policy
December 14, 2021
Bum Steer Awards 2022: 25 Texans Who Invaded Washington, D.C.
An A-to-Z list of 25 Lone Star State residents who disgraced themselves last January 6.
Politics & Policy
December 14, 2021
2022 Bum Steer of the Year Runner-up: Ted Cruz
Ted Cruz had a very, very, very bad year. Maybe he’ll blame it on his daughters.
News & Politics
December 2, 2021
What Mark Cuban Should Do With the Texas Town He Just Bought
We have several suggestions for the new owner of the tiny burg of Mustang.
Politics & Policy
November 30, 2021
Matthew McConaughey Isn’t Running for Governor. But We Still Have Questions About His Interest in Politics.
Sunday night the actor announced he won’t challenge Greg Abbott. So what will he do?
Being Texan
October 14, 2021
Rejoice in the Rockin’ Bods of the Nude Texas Cavers Calendar
What better way to mark the passage of time than with some tasteful spelunking nudity?
Arts & Entertainment
August 2, 2021
No Tweets for Old Men: Yet Another Cormac McCarthy Twitter Hoax Is Upon Us
The famously reclusive author and former El Pasoan is still not on social media, despite what the latest viral thread suggests.
Style & Design
July 28, 2021
All of H-E-B’s New Scented Candles, From Butter Tortilla to Two-Bite Brownies, Ranked
We’re all very impressed with H-E-B’s ability to go viral with a new product line, but how do these things actually smell?
Sports
April 8, 2021
Look at How Many Fishy Crackers Boban Can Hold in His Hand
The cracker company’s new promotion determined that the 7’4” NBA player can hold 301 Goldfish in one handful.
Sports
April 6, 2021
Texas’s Best (and Weirdest) Minor League Baseball Team Names, Ranked
We salute the Sugar Land Lightning Sloths, the Amarillo Sod Poodles, and their compatriots.
News & Politics
March 29, 2021
This Is How Big the Ship That Got Stuck in the Suez Is, in Texas Terms
It’s hard to grasp just how massive the Ever Given is. Fortunately, scale is something our state does well.
Meanwhile, in Texas
March 17, 2021
A Pair of Thieves Broke Into a Houston Art Museum, Then Escaped by Boat
They didn’t manage to steal any art, but they did vanish into a storm drain.
Books
March 2, 2021
Meet the Comedian Whose New Poetry Book Is as Discomfiting as Her Cabaret Act
Houston-raised actor and stand-up star Catherine Cohen confronts anxiety and narcissism in a self-deprecating collection of poems.
Art
February 11, 2021
Virtual Valentines for Texans (We Willie Love You)
Roses are red. Bluebonnets are blue. We made these virtual valentines just for you.
Meanwhile, in Texas
February 9, 2021
“I’m Not a Cat,” Says West Texas Attorney Who Accidentally Applied Zoom Filter
“If the country can have a chuckle at my expense today, I’ll accept it," he says.
Health
February 1, 2021
Newly Vaccinated Boomers Are Ready to Get Down
While much of the under-65 population awaits their COVID-19 vaccines, the generation that invented sex, drugs, and rock and roll is about to run amok.
Politics & Policy
January 28, 2021
The (Fake) Beto Diaries, Vol. 6: I’m (Thinking About Being) Back, Baby
Our hero contemplates a run for governor.
Style & Design
January 21, 2021
Feast Your Eyes Upon This Outrageous Car-Themed Mansion for Sale in North Texas
For a cool $8 million, it could be yours.
Politics & Policy
December 16, 2020
The 2021 Bum Steer Awards
Let’s face it: this was no one’s favorite year. Here are a few dozen reasons why.
Politics & Policy
December 16, 2020
Bum Steer Awards, 2021: Get Ready for the Amazing Adventures of PAXT-MAN!
Can you help Texas's attorney general escape the long arm of the law?
Politics & Policy
December 16, 2020
Bum Steer Awards 2021: The COVID Nineteen
The not-quite-twenty Texans who spectacularly disgraced themselves during the pandemic.
Being Texan
November 24, 2020
The Viral Footage of Texans Waiting in Line at the New College Station Dunkin’ Donuts Is Good, Actually
Let people have some joy for once in their lives.
Politics & Policy
November 19, 2020
Matthew McConaughey Said He’d Consider Running for Texas Governor, so We Wrote His Political Platform
Expect marijuana, college football, and compromise to play central roles.
Arts & Entertainment
June 2, 2020
What Exactly Does the New York Times Think the Alamo Is?
An investigation into the Paper of Record that is, alas, somehow necessary.
Style & Design
May 20, 2020
Is the Cursed “Pac-Man” Face Mask for Real?
Are we being pranked, or is everyone going crazy?
Film & TV
May 18, 2020
Matthew McConaughey’s Numerous Pandemic Public Service Announcements, Ranked
The Uvalde native and patron saint of "alright" just keeps makin' videos.
Politics & Policy
May 7, 2020
The Best and the Bums: Who’s Doing Good and Who’s Not in These Crazy Times
From Mattress Mack to that Austin guy who pushed a park ranger into the lake, the pandemic is bringing out the best and worst in people.
News & Politics
May 1, 2020
Being Eaten by Alex Jones Sounds Like the Absolute Worst Way to Die
The latest rant from the ‘Infowars’ host triggers a fear we didn’t know we had.
Best Thing in Texas
March 24, 2020
The Best Thing in Texas: Re-creating the Ice Day Challenge From Quarantine
A Dallas family goes viral once again.
Politics & Policy
March 4, 2020
We Regret to Inform You That Liking Whataburger Is Not a Personality
Dear candidates: Please stop with the pandering.